goddamnshinyrock:

speaking of being a massive ecology nerd, guess what season it is, folks!

That’s right, it’s FLEDGLING BIRD SEASON here in North America, which means it’s time for an annual reminder that most species of birds have almost no sense of smell. Someone probably told you that if you touch a baby bird, the mother will smell you on it and reject her baby. THAT IS NOT THE CASE. 

Pictured: a young Mourning Dove, after being rescued from the tender mercies of my dog, circa spring 2005. It’s a fledgling! Note how it has most of its feathers, but still looks a bit awkward and scruffy, and, being unable to properly fly, can be caught by an elderly husky or a child. 

image
  • Hatchlings: IF it is covered in fluffy down (or partly naked) and cannot flutter successfully, it’s a hatchling, and has fallen from its nest prematurely. Look for the nest- if you find it and can reach it, return baby and then gtfo and let the parents return. If you can’t find the nest, or if you find it in pieces on the ground, use a small box lined with dryer lint or dog hair or similar fluff and attach as close as possible to where you found the bird or where you think the nest was. Return baby!!!! 
  • Fledglings: If you spot a young bird covered with feathers on the ground, chances are it’s a fledgling (bird tween, can flutter) who is not doing well in flying 101, but it is probably NOT injured or sick. Hanging out on the ground is part of the learning to fly process! If it looks like it’s in immediate danger (i.e. of being run over, stepped on, or eaten by a cat or dog), the best thing you can do for it is to gently scoop it up and place it in the branches of a nearby tree or shrub, and then LEAVE. The parents are likely nearby, and will return once the coast is clear of humans/predators. If it flutter-hops away from you and you can’t catch it, then don’t worry! It just successfully avoided a predator (you), and therefore can probably continue to do so. 
  • DON’T DON’T DON’T: Try to feed it, bring it into your house or car, or take it to your local vet or animal shelter. 
  • IF it IS actually for-real injured, you can catch it and contact a local wildlife rehabilitation professional (and then listen to whatever they tell you), but keep in mind that they get a LOT of fledgling birds, and those birds have a pretty high mortality rate. They may tell you that there is nothing you or they can do but allow nature to take its course, and that’s hard, but important to hear and respect.

Immortals, Long Cons, and the Building Fury of the Art History Department

thedosianexplorer:

I’ve mentioned my favorite art history professor to @systlin a few times, but there’s one story of him that stays with me. So for you, Plant Aunt, I’ve crafted a tale of one immortal spitefully making sure another immortal finally gets his:

The running joke among David’s students is that our beloved professor is clearly an immortal. How else could we explain his small office crammed with illuminated manuscripts, Scythian and Mongolian bows, 3rd cent. Roman gladii, near-Eastern rugs and ancient swords? The way he sighed wistfully in class and told us how beautiful the Parthenon was when it was new and, “not just a damn tourist attraction”? It wasn’t uncommon for us to see him hefting a sword over his shoulder, leather trench coat flapping in the wind, flipping off the head of security who really should have stopped trying by now.

It was also a running joke that our favorite immortal just did not get technology. I worked at our Help Desk for all four years of college, and David would always request one of his students to come and fix his computer. 

“This computer isn’t fast enough,” he told me once, polishing an enameled chalice. Google maps was still loading on the page, trying to parse the coordinates he entered. It was likely looking ten centuries too late. “It needs more of that RAM. Really. I could be soaring over ancient Rome like a bird!”

After repeat requests, he got a brand-new Macbook Pro, which he promptly abandoned for his antique slide projector. 

“I just don’t get the new technology,” he shrugged. “You can’t get the feel of things.” 

That was the only sentiment he shared with his nemesis. 

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goddamnshinyrock:

okay I don’t say this often because it’s both arrogant sounding and hardly ever true but

I not only could have taught that class, but I could have taught it much better than the actual professor did

he committed every single goddamn cardinal teaching sin: droning voice, not looking up from his notes- from which he read, verbatim, for almost the entire class- more than twice an hour, no discussion or debate, no visual aides at all, failing to relate the content to anything that the average student might have as a frame of reference (nor did he include interesting anecdotes), and being vague and unspecific about assignment requirements.

I’m going to fucking stage a coup.

I pulled up three current, interesting, and relevant news articles that he could have used to reinforce his points as he was stumbling slowly through his notes and explaining concepts simultaneously abstractly and at a very basic level

my mother explained the greenhouse effect to me when I was nine years old with a higher level of detail than this man teaching a class full of college seniors and grad students

okay I don’t say this often because it’s both arrogant sounding and hardly ever true but

I not only could have taught that class, but I could have taught it much better than the actual professor did

he committed every single goddamn cardinal teaching sin: droning voice, not looking up from his notes- from which he read, verbatim, for almost the entire class- more than twice an hour, no discussion or debate, no visual aides at all, failing to relate the content to anything that the average student might have as a frame of reference (nor did he include interesting anecdotes), and being vague and unspecific about assignment requirements.

I’m going to fucking stage a coup.