a good guide to differentiating between a raven and a crow: crows are lovable ragamuffins intent on making mischief while ravens are unsettling dinosaurs

there’s a reason Poe wrote his poem about a raven and not a crow. The crow would not just perch (on a pallid bust of Pallas) above the chamber door and stare menacingly while uttering a few pithy remarks, the crow would barge in with ten of his friends and they would start pulling apart the furnishings looking for food and making off with any objects they found interesting, like fuck nevermore, this dude has BREAD in here. 

we had our first group meeting with all eight of us who share the same thesis committee chair today and she was in the middle of explaining the timeline when I saw a hummingbird hovering outside the conference room window and automatically gasped “HUMMINGBIRD!” aloud and then immediately slapped my hands over my mouth in horror as the professor broke off mid-sentence and everyone spun around in their chairs to look

hire me I disrupt important meetings by pointing out birds