reading these court cases is making me so glad that I’m doing museum studies and not law. I keep grumbling things like “ex post facto? seriously? just say ‘after the fact’, you unbearably pretentious legal fuckers” at these documents

since I did not expect the balloon post to become so popular (oh my god I’m so sorry tumblr user v-diggety, I accidentally made your post viral), and I now have a ton of new followers with a bunch of questions about it, so here is some necessary clarification:

  • it’s just one guy from facilities who is actually allowed to use the bb gun to shoot down balloons, not just any employee who happens to be there. (and to pre-empt follow-ups: no, I don’t know what would happen if we had a balloon incident on his day off. chaos, presumably.)
  • no, we would not shoot down a balloon when guests are present in the museum, obviously. 
  • “why is the alarm system like that?” GOD KNOWS. It’s old and finicky. It’s easier to just prevent anything from touching the ceiling in perpetuity than to find the money in the budget to replace it. 
  • “wouldn’t this damage the ceiling?” YEAH PROBABLY. I mean bb guns aren’t very powerful, and it is seriously a very high ceiling, but I don’t know exactly what it’s made of… 
  • it doesn’t actually happen hardly ever because, as I said, balloons are strictly prohibited and if the guest services folks (like me!) at the doors do their jobs, no helium balloons get in in the first place. 
  • look, I never said it was a good idea. 

if anyone wants to improve their academic writing dramatically, pick up a copy of They Say, I Say by Berkenstein and Graff

it’s simple, direct, and game-changing; it’ll make you think about the mechanics of academic debate in a far more systematic way without once being dull or wordy or confusing. 10/10, would build a time machine and give this to my 18-year-old self if I could

v-diggety:

did U GUYS KNOW, that the way stores get the balloons off of the ceiling is with ANOTHER balloon, w tape on the top??? and they just dont cut the string so it’s like super long and u gotta aim it right n reel it in. i just found that out today when i DID IT and it’s been the best working day of my life i had a blast blowing up balloons and fetching some off the ceiling. i had so much power? and NO ONE ELSE in my department likes that job so now it’s MY job when need be

omg so I work at a museum and one of our buildings has a) very high ceilings and b) a bizarrely sensitive alarm system that will go off if anything touches the ceiling. Because of this, helium balloons are considered public enemy #1 and are strictly forbidden from entering the museum. But just in case an illicit balloon is successfully smuggled in, the museum has acquired a fucking b.b. gun for the express purpose of shooting down rogue balloons.